Saturday, May 13, 2017

Assisted Living (Humor)

Re-posted by Nicholas Stix

I thank the old friend who sent this along.

This is for all of you “70+year-olds,” and those of us closing in on the “Golden Years.”

At the Assisted Living Center

The people who live there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning, one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast, so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door, to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door, and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly, so she went back to the dining area.

An hour later he still hadn't arrived, so she went back up towards his room and found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs, but was having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the handrail, and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain, and just wanted to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step, so they called an ambulance for him. A couple hours later she called the hospital, to see how he was doing. The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nursing home joke.
Three seniors were talking together.The first one says,"I've got this terrible problem urinating.I stand there and stand there and it dribbles out.Feels like I never really go."
Second one says,"My problem is I can never go #2.I'm constipated and just can't seem to go.I sit for hours and nothing happens."
Third one says,"You think YOU have problems?I wake up 7am sharp,take a great pee--comes out like water out of a hose.Then,at 7:15,I have a mighty bowel movement--like a volcano erupting."
One of the other old guys says,"So what's your problem?"
"I don't get out of bed until 10 am."
--GR Anonymous