By Grand Rapids Anonymous
thursday, october 16, 2025 at 5:39:00 p.m. edt
Mitch McConnell takes a dive thursday--still plans to retire in 2027 (that's optimistic)
oct. 16, 2025, 1:55 p.m. ET
"(politico) senator Mitch McConnell, 83, fell in the basement of the capitol on thursday while making his way to the senate floor for a vote, the latest indication that the former republican leader who is planning to retire in 2027 has grown frail.
"in a video posted on social media, mr. McConnell, a kentucky republican, can be seen walking while grasping the arm of a man apparently in his security detail when a woman appears beside him asking questions about immigration raids.
"after briefly letting go of his companion, mr. McConnell stumbles and collapses to the ground. the man accompanying him, with the assistance of a police officer, lifts mr. McConnell back onto his feet and the senator turns to wave to the camera with a smile.
it was not clear whether he suffered any injuries, but Mr. McConnell appeared to walk for several steps unassisted before grabbing hold of the man again as the video ended.
The former speaker said he plans to retire in 2027.
GRA: He'll never make it.
--GRA
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"...turns to the camera and smiles."
"Nothing like a pratfall to lighten things up during a government shutdown,"Mitch said,brushing himself off.
"I've been rehearsing that one all day," he grinned.
McConnell then asked reporters,"You don't think that stunt was a physical malfunction of my 83 year old body--do you?That whole thing was intentional--it's the NEW Mitch McConnell,showing I still have it,"before doing a half gainer over the side of the second floor escalator and landing on a special trampoline--set out,one floor down-- to catch aging politicians in just this situation.
"See you at the vote,"he waved briskly from his personal stretcher.
--GRA
negro,Daniel Cameron wants McConnell's Senate seat. Don't let him do it,Kentucky.
--GRA
At least Mitch still has a paycheck and enough in the bank to survive the shutdown despite his trillion-dollar errors, plural, at our expense.
Someone else got fired, either for real or in brilliant parody.
News item: "Paxos, the issuer behind PayPal's PYUSD stablecoin, accidentally minted $300 trillion worth of tokens in the Ethereum blockchain Wednesday afternoon, then burned them 20 minutes later... The error occurred during an internal transfer... no security breach and all customer funds remained safe."
And then the twOOt of the year:
Just got fired from Paxos.
My job was to count decimal places and typecast uint256s.
Looking for work starting in January 2026000000000000.
Of course if I were in Mom's basement and posting on Gab was my no-life life, I'd be up late tonight confidently and ignorantly weaving a thread asserting that the Paxos error was in reality a dress rehearsal for a global financial reset, By tomorrow morning, thousands of eyes-wide-closed MAGA people and two or three Republicans in Congress will have swallowed the story whole. Bannon's staff would be scrambling to get someone to interview for the Saturday show, can't wait for Monday. With bonus points for including some relative of Elaine Chao in the threadbare thread. See? It must be true! We even found someone from Paxos who went to Yale and attended the WEF and donated to Jeb! in '16. And someone at a Israeli IP address exchanged out all their stablecoins an hour before the incident.
(Earlier ZH story with more cryptotechie detail: https://www.zerohedge.com/crypto/300-trillion-dollar-fat-finger)
What's a few zeroes between fraudsters?
--GRA
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