If Bob Newhart were a Cop Today

[“What’s in a black Name? The Most Hilarious Essay on Race You’ll Ever Read!”; and

“A third raceless man was arrested on Monday night for illegally carrying a gun in the area of the Sacramento massacre.”]

By Grand Rapids Anonymous

The names of blacks are getting more bizarre all the time, and I doubt if THEY can spell their own ridiculous names.

A cop making a report has got to be shaking his head at the thugs as they go to the precinct to fill out paperwork on the arrest. Daviyonne? Come on, niggas.

Remember Bob Newhart?

Newhart (as cop):Oh-oh-Okay,I need some information,let's start with your name.

Nig: Daviyonne.

Newhart (stuttering): So-so-so, Davy is the first name? D-A-V-Y?

Nig: No mannn, it’s...uhh, wait a minute, I knew it last month.

Newhart: You mean you can’t tell me how your name is spelled?

Nig: D-a-v-i…

Newhart: No, I guess you can’t. Wh-wh-what’s this “Yon” part—your last name?

Nig: Nooo, man, it’s part of my first name.

Newhart (laughing) That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Well except for the name Forlando (laughs some more).

Nig: My middle name is Forlando.

Newhart: I should have known. Last name?

Nig: Dawson.

Newhart: You’re lying—after two extremely dumb names, you’re going to tell me your last name is Dawson?

Nig: Well, weeze got to have ONE name out of three, we can spell right—but we’ll be workin’ on changin’ those soon.

Newhart: Okay,we’re done here...NEXT!

(Another nig sits down)

Newhart: What’s YOUR name?

Nig: Tyrannosaurus.

Newhart: Middle name, Rex?

Nig: How’d you know?

Newhart: Lucky guess—I’ll spell the name for you.

Nig: Thanks man—you all right.

Newhart: NEXT!

(End)

--GRA