By Grand Rapids Anonymous
monday, january 26, 2026 at 7:17:00 p.m. est
Mary Tyler Moore Show 2026
Lou Grant: All right, who wants to go out where ICE and antifa are fighting it out right now--Ted?
Ted Baxter: Can't, Lou. My contract says no "on location" reporting when temps are below 70 degrees wind chill.
Murray: Or where there's a one in a million chance you might get your hair parted by a bullet?
Ted: YES--but how do YOU know that, Murray?
Murray: I didn't.
Mary Richards: Ted, in spite of our call letters being W-O-K-E, our ratings service says none of the people out there ever watch our news show.
Ted: Well then, who does?
Lou: Nursing homes. They turn our news on--when they want to induce sleep.
Murray: Good one, Lou.
Lou: It's TRUE.
Mary: How about the new guy we hired...Rittenhouse.
Lou: Good idea, Mary. Bring him in, I have a few questions to ask him first.
(Minutes later in Lou's office.)
Lou: First name?
Rittenhouse: Kyle.
Lou: Any experience in crowds?
Rittenhouse: Yes, sir.
Lou: Okay, go get this story.
END
(Use your imagination as to how the rest of the episode goes.)
--GRA
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