Howard Cosell is Back, on ABC’s Afterlife Wide World of Sports, with Another Boxing Match, a Re-Match of Prince William and Prince Harry!

[Re: “William vs. Harry.”]

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
wednesday, january 11, 2023 at 1:07:00 a.m. est

Howard Cosell back on Wide World of Sports for our second boxing match in two weeks. The first one—if you recall—was a humdrum affair between two black women in a department store—stopped after 30 seconds of vandalism. I will categorically admit to our audience that the previous bout was an utter disappointment, but TO-DAY, we are presenting to you, what promises to be the complete opposite of our initial broadcast: two electrified blue bloods, with an intense dislike for one other—Prince William and Prince Harry—a rematch of their bout from decades ago, when they were but mere youngsters.

Harry is slightly favored at the moment, due to recent time in the British Air Force—and a perceived motivational edge for “evening the score” against his older brother.

They’re in their corners. The referee is John Cleese of Monty Python fame. William, the taller of the two combatants, has a much longer reach than the red- haired Harry, who will have to get inside.

Both in reasonably good shape, it appears, though I notice currently, that Harry seems to be a little unsteady in his corner.

There’s the bell!

Round one is underway—and Harry staggers to the middle of the ring and look out, John Cleese, Harry has just upchucked—it appears—last night’s alcohol intake all over the ring—and directly onto the ref—Sir John Cleese.

William eluded the projectile vomiting, but our referee was drenched—and he’s yelling at Harry, “You bloody twit—you’re stewed!

And now referee Cleese has declared Harry unfit for boxing—and this fight is OVER!

Unbelievable, is all I can say. Let me go up into the ring.

I’m speaking with Harry’s trainer, Boris Johnson—the former prime minister of England—Boris looks green in the face as well—and HE turns and HE erupts into the nearest bucket—over in his own corner of the ring.

We can guess how those two trained for this disappointing fiasco—can’t we?

That’s it from England, Howard Cosell reporting. Stay tuned for part 2 of the World Championships of Arson—from Detroit on a-b-c—the all-black content network.

--GRA