Try Taco Bell’s Yummy, New, Soylent Bean Burrito! (But it’s a Secret!)

[“El Paso Driver Killed after Guardrail Breaks, Enters Car in High-Speed Crash.”]

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
Sunday, January 23, 2022 at 1:35:00 A.M. EST

She doesn’t look like that now. That’s okay, the local Taco Bell will be delighted to use her in the new “Soylent Bean Burrito” (while supplies of crazy, dead, Mexican drivers last).

There’s so many Mex getting killed in car wrecks lately that there may be a sale on the Soylent Bean Burrito, due to a glut of ingredients—mainly Mex corpses—which are then ground up as part of a secret recipe, mixed with black beans, rice (and other usual Mex fare) and thrown into a burrito wrap.

Because Mex never have insurance, funerals and burials are out of the question, shipping back to Mexico is verboten—the only solution is to recycle the dead Mex drivers—who kill themselves in such a careless manner—and create the Soylent Bean Burrito.

A meal—that’s “a head” of its time. You’ll give it a “hand” of approval when done feasting on this “foot”—long burrito, with an “eye” towards environmental recycling of human beings.

But shhhh—remember, it’s a secret.

--GRA