By Grand Rapids Anonymous
wednesday, september 24, 2025 at 12:42:00 p.m. edt
"Hello, I'm Ben Stein, here to promote my idiot friend Jimmy Kimmel's Wednesday show."
Kimmel: Thanks, Ben.
Ben: Well, tonight, Jimmy, you have a singer/rapper called Yungblud on. I looked him up, and he's described as a White, British, trannie, pansexual. Anything you want to tell me, Jimmy--having this strange person on?
Kimmel: Just that I'd like some lipstick and a Dolly Parton wig for Christmas this year, Ben.
Ben: Let's play a clip of Yungblud's "famous" song, "Lowlife."
"I'm not gonna go out today,
I gonna sit right here and wish the world away,
'Cause I'm a lowlife, lowlife.
I don't care if the people stare,
I'm gonna stay right here in my underwear,
'Cause I'm a lowlife, lowlife."
Ben: Are you his muse, Jimmy?
Kimmel: I can't say, I don't want to get suspended again.
Ben: Suspended for being a weirdo? You'll probably get TWO shows a night from abc.
Kimmel: Maybe I'll reveal it on tonight's program--at 11:35 p.m.
Ben: I'll be asleep.
Announcer: That's the Jimmy Kimmel Show--TONIGHT!
--GRA
By Grand Rapids Anonymous
wednesday, september 24, 2025 at 2:09:00 p.m. edt
"Lowlife" reminded me of "Another Brick in the Wall." One video has a bunch of pre-teen girls singing the chorus (similar to Pink Floyd's song). For a rap/pop song it wasn't that bad (low threshold to jump over). Not "Yesterday," "Helter Skelter," or "Penny Lane," but not nig rapcrap either. A little humor helps. The persona is an angry misfit who isn't understood. This is one of Kimmel's guests tonight.
--GRA
By Abolish Tenure
wednesday, september 24, 2025 at 2:14:00 p.m. edt
revolver.news headline: "Kimmel fake cries, then lies..."
By Abolish Tenure
wednesday, september 24, 2025 at 2:30:00 p.m. edt
Nielsen statisticians, working all night long, determined that Kimmel's triumphant return lured dozens of viewers away from Colbert and Fallon.
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2 comments:
"Nielsen statisticians, working all night long, determined that Kimmel's triumphant return lured dozens of viewers away from Colbert and Fallon."
GRA:Or seniors not knowing how to work their new tv remote controls.
--GRA
"Who Wants to Be An Ex-Talk Show Host"?
And here's the star of our show,Regis Philbin.
(applause)
Regis:Thank you and welcome to our show,which is played exactly like "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" except if the contestant gives a brutally tasteless answer,they agree to give up their job as network talk show host.
When we last left off,Jimmy Kimmel had just joined us and he's back for his question. Jimmy,come on out.
(tepid applause)
Kimmel:Hi,Reege.
Regis:Well,this it. Are you ready for your question? Remember,you can do 50/50,phone a friend and bribe the host. Here's your question.
What do you think of President Trump?
A)A wonderful president
B)A fascist
C)The Anti-Christ
D)I wish he was dead
Kimmel::Can I phone a friend?
Regis:YOU have friends?
(audience laughs)
You sure don't have viewers.
(bigger laughs)
Okay,who do you want to call?
Kimmel:Steven Colbert.
Regis:He was just on our show a few months ago.
Okay,we're making the call. What's that--his phone has been disconnected for lack of payment?
Sorry,Jimmy,you've lost that lifeline. Do you want to give an answer or choose another lifeline?
Kimmel:Well,I wish he was dead...
Regis:Final answer?
Kimmel:Final answer.
Regis:The answer to lose your show is...D)I wish he was dead! You're out of a job AGAIN!
Kimmel:Damn,how do I keep screwing up? Maybe I can take over THIS show.
Regis:Over my dead body.
Kimmel:That's one way(pulls out a rifle).
Regis:Another crazy liberal--security!
(Kimmel gets gang tackled)
Regis:Whew! That was close. Next week,Seth Meyers plays,"Who Wants To Be An Ex-Talk Show Host?" Good night.
--GRA
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