By Abolish Tenure
saturday, august 30, 2025 at 12:12:00 p.m. edt
Raheem Kassam video walking around D.C. for 26 minutes in full daylight marveling at how there is "virtually no trash, crime, or vagrancy to be found." I didn't watch it because I don't have to. I just clicked some random places. They're all in full daylight in non-bleephole swampyuppie settings amongst so many White people you'd think that central casting did all their recruiting in vermont. Did he talk about the price tag? I bet he didn't.
C'mon, Raheem and you other cheerleaders, take the Jussie challenge and do the solo 2 a.m. walk to subway. It's extra safe in D.C. because you don't have to worry about redneck maga types lurking about with nooses.
And where did those homeless go, hmmmmm? Did they all become "Maryland man"?
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3 comments:
"Raheem". I like when the bizarro name is right at the beginning so I can immediately skip it.
Is Raheem related to Casey Kassam of the America's top 40 radio show of yesteryear? He used to be on the "Jerry Lewis Telethon" too--Casey Kasem,that is.
Jerry:Roll it,big Ed.
Ed McMahon:Let's see ...900 zillion dollars!!!
Rickles:And Jerry just informed me I don't get paid--AGAIN this year. I didn't volunteer to do this for free--ask my agent,Joe Scandore.
Jerry:Here's a cookie.
Rickles:With a piece bitten out of it.
Jerry:You're complaining more than Dean Martin did when I gave him a mixed drink with 99% water. Heyyyy.
Rickles:900 zillion dollars and no one gets cured. RFK--check into this will ya?
Jerry:It's 2:26 in the morning,how about a big welcome for Phyllis Diller.
Diller:Thank you,Jerry. In case anyone's wondering,I look the same at any hour,so the picture you see is not the fault your antenna,ha ha ha.
(Click)
--GRA
(six hours later)
Phyllis Diller: I promise--here's my last joke:For the looongest time,I always thought Labor Day was started to commemorate women giving birth. In MY case,that wasn't the "labor"--it was trying to convince my husband,Fang to give up the goods,so I could GET pregnant...ha...ha...ha. Thanks everyone.
Jerry:A 6 hour comedy set from Phyllis Diller,that has to be a record.
Rickles:Is it over yet? I digested that half a cookie you gave me,Jer--where's the bathroom?
Jerry:Around the corner--I think Mama Cass is using it right now.
Rickles:I'll NEVER get in there.
Jerry:Go ahead,Ed,what's our NEW total?
Ed:Let's roll it--STILL 900 zillion dollars--not one dollar added while Phyllis was on for six hours
Jerry:Let's cut to our local stations--maybe THEY can get us to 1 gajillion dollars. Back in ten minutes.
Ed:Stay tuned to the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon. Coming up:Red Buttons,Tony Orlando and Dawn,Bob Newhart,Suzanne Somers,Rip Taylor and no more Phyllis Diller. Because if you miss even a little bit of the show,you never know what you're going to miss.
--GRA
JERRY LEWIS 2025 TELETHON CLOSE
Ed:Here's our last toteboard total for this year,Jerry.
Jerry:Let's see it,sir.
Ed: Here it is!(toteboard flips over)One gajillion dollars--we made it,Jerry.
Jerry:Thanks to you,Ed and our guests and ME,of course. Let's close out the show with everyone's favorite moment--Milton?
(musical lead in)
When you call in your pledge,
Make the number high,
And add many zeroes,
At the end.
Cuz the huge overhead,
Takes up most of the bread,
And we hope,
Auditors never check.
Walk on,past our books,
Walk on,take no looks,
Though you think our ledgers are wrong,
Walk on,walk on,
Don't take out your pens,
And don't pass this way again,!
We'll let you live,my friend.
Good night,everyone.
--GRA
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