All in the Family, 2022 (Second Episode)

Rob Reiner, Jean Stapleton, Carroll O'Connor and Sally Struthers


[Previously: All in the Family, 2022]

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
sunday, november 13, 2022 at 9:36:00 p.m. est

Boy, the way Sinatra sang,
Astronauts, they drank their Tang,
Streets were safer than Da Nang,
Those were the days.

And your friends were normal then,
Sue was Sue and Ben was Ben,
Mister, we could use a man like Giuliani again.

Didn’t need no facebook chat,
Women’s bodies weren’t so fat,
How did I remember that?
Those were the days.

(Opening Scene--in the living room)

Archie: Hey, where are youse two going?

Mike: There’s a new “black panther” movie out Arch, so me and Gloria are going to see the 7 p.m. showing at the Apollo movieplex.

Archie (imitating Mike with disgust): There’s a new black panther movie out—me and Gloria are going to check it out—over in the GHETTO—no less!

Gloria: That’s right, daddy—it’s perfectly safe.

Archie: Youse two—and a roomful of spades. It’s not perfectly safe for THEM—let alone a White couple sittin’ in the middle of ‘em.

Mike: See ya, Arch.

Archie: I hope you have your life insurance premiums paid up to date, buddy— payable to ME (laughs to himself).

(Mike and Gloria leave—door closes)

Archie: Edith, where’s my beer?

Edith: Coming, Archie.

(Edith runs in with a beverage.)

Archie: Will you answer me one question, Edith?

Edith: I’ll try, Archie.

Archie: Why is it, the more years that the Meathead goes to college, the STUPIDER HE GETS?

Edith: Oh, they’ll be all right, Archie.

Archie: Quiet, dingbat—look at the TV—breaking news—shootout at the Apollo movieplex.

Edith: OH, MY!

Archie: Stifle! Let’s listen to the lyin’ coon reporter.

black reporter: “...and it appears, as many as 20 black moviegoers were shot from the reported 200 bullets fired—as the theater emptied—from the 5 p.m. showing of black panther.”

Archie: Their usual batting average.

(Door opens-Mike and Gloria walk in.)

Edith: Look, Archie—they made it back in one piece!

Archie: Meathead, little goil—how did you manage THAT?

Mike: The cops had the street closed off—we couldn’t get close to the theater. So we turned around and came home.

Edith: Thank goodness.

Archie: No, thank HIM (Archie points up to the sky). HE must have a weak spot for dumb Polacks and their wives, who go where—as they say—angels fear to “thread.”

Mike: According to you, Archie, that’s the entire city.

Archie: Bingo, Meathead, bingo—or as your black mayor would say—bongo, Meathead, BONGO.

(Archie lights a cigar, as Mike and Gloria stare at him with disdain).

(end)

--GRA

By Anonymous
monday, november 14, 2022 at 8:10:00 a.m. est

Archie Bunker was right!