By Grand Rapids Anonymous
Sunday, April 19, 2020 at 2:16:00 A.M. EDT
In the 2020 baseball year that might have been, the Mets’ ridiculously bizarre faux season continued last night with a 1-0 defeat at the hands of the Chicago Cubs, as both starting pitchers, Noah Syndergaard and Jon Lester, pitched complete game no-hitters for their respective teams.
Lester walked two and struck out 11, while Syndergaard, statistically at least, outpitched the Cubs lefty with one walk and 13 Ks.
The jinxed Mets lost it in the 3rd inning, as with two outs, the Cubs 8th place hitter, Kyle Schwarber, received the only pass Syndergaard would issue on this cool night. Lester then dropped a surprise bunt that 3rd sacker J.D Davis scooped up and threw past first baseman Pete Alonso, scoring Schwarber.
It was goose eggs the rest of the way.
Actress Geena Davis, the 18th manager of the Mets’ historic season, was immediately fired and replaced by Tom Hanks.
This Mets team is definitely in “A League of Their Own” in 2020, and the last two managerial choices prove it.
The no-hitter was the first for the Mets since 2012, when Johan Santana tossed the first Mets no-hitter in history vs. St. Louis.
Game two of the series is Saturday night.
--GRA
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Substitute fantasy What IF Sports for the regular season and rig the results. What IF!
METS LOSING STREAK STAYS AT 18,HANKS FIRED ANYWAYS,AS GAME IS CALLED IN THE FIRST INNING.
In what can only be described,at this point,as an "Impossible Year" of nightly absurdities for NY Mets fans,the home team outdid themselves Saturday night.
New manager,Tom Hanks,"trying to shake things up,"as he so understatedly mentioned after the game,signed 57 year old Rosie O'Donnell(without notifying anyone in Mets personnel) to a 10 day contract and installed her into the starting line-up,as catcher against the Chicago Cubs,for game two of the series.
"She was in that movie about women softball players I was in("A League of Their Own"),so I thought,'what could go wrong?"
As the first pitch from Jacob deGrom sailed past O'Donnell and into the arm of umpire Jerry Layne,it became apparent very quickly,"what could go wrong."
Trainers for both teams rushed to attend to the injured umpire's hand,which appeared to be frozen in a clawlike position,
While Layne was taken off the field,the rest of the crew decided to soldier on with three umpires.
Hunter Wendelstedt,one of the other umps,lost two fast games of rock,paper scissors and took over reluctantly for Layne at home plate.
But as O'Donnell sank into a crouch to give the signs to DeGrom for the next pitch,the rotund Rosie lost her balance,falling backwards into Wendelstedt,inflicting a knee injury later diagnosed as a torn meniscus.
Down to two umps,the game was immediately cancelled and Hanks was fired by Mets GM Brodie Van Wagenen for not winning--"my sole criteria for managerial employment,"
The Mets remained at 0-18.
92 year old former Dodger skipper,Tommy Lasorda was announced as the new Met manager.
"Hey this is going to be great,"Lasorda grinned,"my old buddies Frank Sinatra and Don Rickles will be in the dugout as coaches and Frank will sing the national anthem.I can't wait to start the next phrase of my career."(malapropism not removed).
Lasorda indicated his first move would be to drop Ron Cey down to the fifth spot in the lineup.
Game time is Tuesday vs Pittsburgh at 730pm.
--GRA
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