Sunday, April 01, 2018

Today’s Headlines

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
Sunday, April 1, 2018 at 10:57:00 A.M. EDT

1) Stormy Daniels claims Trump is her child's father—seeks back child support. Trump agrees to appear on Maury Povich.

2) NBC decides to clean house of minorities. “All of our minority employees, except for Al Roker, will be fired immediately,” NBC CEO Stephen Burke announced. “We did a headcount recently and there are three times as many minorities working here as whites. NBC wants to apologize to the hard-working majority of white America. This does not reflect who we are as a country. As of today, we will no longer be the Negro Broadcast Company.

3) Blacks decide to leave America for Africa. “After all these years,” said Barack Obama, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton in a joint statement, “we've proven that we cannot assimilate with whites. The races ARE different. We need to go back—if whites will help us.

4) Weather in NY today: Sunny and warm, high of 80.

5) Grand Rapids Anonymous donates 1 million dollars to NSU. THAT is, unfortunately, an impossibility. But good for April Fools’ day news.

April Fools’!


Anonymous said...

" The races ARE different. We need to go back—if whites will help us."

They did try. It is called Liberia and Sierra Leone. See how well that worked out. RUF and the Sergeant's Rebellion.

Anonymous said...

Real news--and My Laugh of the Day
Lesta Holt and NBC,obviously insulted by Sinclair's TV stations recently airing a promo video--putting down "fake news"--aired a juvenile response on tonights Negro Nightly News.
In my area,I saw this promo via WWMT Kalamazoo and was impressed by it.Here's the statement read by the anchors:
"We're concerned about the troubling trend of irresponsible, one-sided news stories plaguing our country," the anchors said, reading from the script.

"Unfortunately, some members of the national media are using their platforms to push their own personal bias and agenda to control ‘exactly what people think’ ... This is extremely dangerous to our democracy," the script continued."
GRA:NBC,like a scorned girl,played a nasty 5 minute report,showing each anchorperson from each Sinclair TV station across the country,reading the form letter simultaneously,overlapping each others voices for effect.There were comparisons to "Big Brotherism" and other nonsense as NBC clawed its nails at Sinclair hoping to defend its own pathetic "news"cast by putting down Sinclairs.
If Sinclair can be impartial,I'm all for it,of course.But poor Lesta,why he was almost in other words,it was a bullseye,fired by Sinclair,landing right on NBC's peacock.
--GR Anonymous

Anonymous said...

Hey that was pretty good.
For more laughs-
Winnie Mandela being treated in death as if she were a hero.