By Grand Rapids Anonymous
thursday, february 5, 2026 at 8:17:00 p.m. est
"Rib shortage over with," declares anonymous local food retailer
GRA: Ribs were in short supply in D.C., the last few months, but now that the main consumer of them, fire chief Keith Long has given them up permanently, inventories are expected to return to normal. At least so stated an anonymous retailer of local meat products.
"obviously, he ate one too many of the ribs and they finally got him,' said the food retail expert.
rumors that Long will be buried with 10 lbs. of ribs and sauce next to him--in his casket--have not been confirmed.
--GRA
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