Alternate Universe Hitchcock Movies for Christmas

[Film Noir of the Week is not on this weekend, as TCM is showing mostly Christmas movies.”]

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
sunday, december 24, 2023 at 8:46:00 a.m. est

“On Christmas night, Monday, TCM shows four Alfred Hitchcock films starring Jimmy Stewart, starting at 8 p.m. ET with Vertigo (1958), followed by Rear Window (1954), The Man Who Knew too Much (1956), and Rope (1948).”

Strange choice of movies for Christmas, UNLESS these are alternate Hitchcock movies with the same titles—films that were about Santa Claus’ lesser known traits. For example, in Vertigo, his heretofore never heard of fear of heights is examined, which until Kim Novak introduced him to the mile high club (“Ho, ho. Ho”), was a huge impediment to delivering gifts on Christmas Eve.

Rear Window explored the different ways Santa kept track of who was good (Grace Kelly) and who was not(you know who)-bringing us to the sequel, The Man Who Knew too Much—which wasn’t even Santa, but a temp elf who got his hands on all of Santa’s information about everyone in the world—and began a devastating blackmail campaign, which Santa has to stop to avert a Presidential assassination and a nuclear war.

In Rope, Santa drops off gifts at a house—at the same time a murder is being committed. Police arrive at the scene, and find Santa going up the chimney by rope, a similar rope used in the strangulation death of one of the household members. Santa is apprehended, and police do not buy that this is the real Santa—or even a store employee Santa—but a maniacal, mass murdering, Kris Kringle impersonator. Raymond Burr’s first appearance as Perry Mason was in this Christmas Hitchcock mystery/thriller.

Merry Christmas, and Good Eeev-en-ing.

--GRA