Sominex Less Effective than this Year’s Oscar Show for Sleep Inducement— Study Finds

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
Monday, February 10, 2020 at 2:08:00 A.M. EST

What kind of “Oscar” show do you have when the following people are subtracted from it: John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Jack Nicholson, Henry Fonda, Burt Lancaster, Cary Grant, Katherine and Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Loren, Elizabeth Taylor, Meryl Streep, Clint Eastwood, William Holden, Johnny Carson (host), Bob Hope (host), plus comics who showed up for whatever reason (to present or entertain), Benny, Burns, Groucho, Martin and Lewis, and so many more?

You know what you get? This year’s show—an exercise in boredom, a snoozefest with zero star power, charisma, or entertainment (though Elton John tried).

This year’s Oscar program—which had DeNiro and Pacino and not much else for big names (advanced in age, at that) was sooo devoid of spark that, Hollywood decided to give the “best picture” Oscar to a non-English speaking movie from South Korea—Parasite.

How exciting was that moment? Not very. The director made his acceptance speech through an interpreter for five minutes.

It just made me realize—and Hollywood should, too—that they should stick to awarding Oscars for American-made films only—and if they can’t come up with something better than Parasite, they might as well pack it in.

I haven’t seen The Irishman yet—I would probably love it as a throwback to Casino and Goodfellas. I’ve seen plenty of trailers—and I think that would have been my choice.

I’m SURE Hollywood wanted to show how inclusive they are, by voting in this South Korean film, but it shouldn’t have happened. The main reason is, you diminish your own product in the eyes of moviegoers (“No American film could beat THIS?”), plus you’re not supporting your own industry. Many millions of dollars are made by pictures that win Oscars, in the weeks AFTER the Oscar show.

Now that money is going to a foreign country.

Heads would have rolled in the old days, if this type of un-American voting had occurred in the heyday of MGM and 20th Century Fox (which it wouldn’t have—Louis B. Mayer would have taken names and had them all kicked out of show business).

Anyways, as Johnny Carson would have commented, “THAT’S how boring the show was, the highlight was a South Korean film won best picture.”

The Duke would have said, “Pilgrims, what the hell’s the matter with you idiots, voting a Far East-produced movie as best film? You all make me sick.”

I’m glad I wasted only 20 minutes on it Sunday evening. The “Oscahs” gets worse every year.
--GRA

N.S.: Thank God, for Grand Rapids Anonymous! I used to watch the Oscar broadcast religiously, but haven’t watched it in years. (He also saves me from having to watch über-racist Lester Holt on the NBC News!) The last time the Oscars awarded a masterpiece, it was in 1999 for Saving Private Ryan, but the voters still cheated Ryan, by giving the Best Picture Oscar to Shakespeare in Love, a cute romantic comedy, in which Willie S. has an Elizabethan headshrinker. I lasted about 15 minutes, when I tried watching it on TV.

As for Ryan, it’s on my top 35 all-time talkies list. Time was, we used to throw lines from it at each other, in the Stix household: “You don’t know when to shut up, you don’t know how to shut up!”… “Lot of that goin’ around,” etc.

I still think about it, when I watch B war pictures from the 1950s that Ryan’s screenwriter, Robert Rodat, borrowed from, say, the D-Day story, Screaming Eagles (1956), in which a unit’s commanding officer was an English teacher back home.

Oscar.go.com: “Congratulations to Renée Zellweger on her first Oscar win.”

Except that it was her second Oscar.

Can’t they hire people to run their Website who actually know something about movies? Oh, but that would require competent white men.

I see an AOL headline saying that Brad Pitt gave a “powerful political speech” attacking President Trump. (It has since mysteriously disappeared, leaving #5 of AOL’s round-up blank.)

The Oscar ratings keep hitting new lows, and the spiteratti respond by insulting the commander-in-chief, and the people who keep them in business.

John Wayne gave one of the classiest acceptance speeches ever, in 1970:

“Wow! If I’d have known that, I’d have put that patch on 35 years earlier.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m no stranger to this podium. I’ve come up here, and picked up these beautiful golden men before… but always for friends.

“One night I picked up two, one for Admiral John Ford, one for our beloved Gary Cooper [1953].

“I was very clever and witty that night, the envy of even Bob Hope.

“But tonight, I don’t feel very clever, very witty.

“I feel very grateful, very humble, and all thanks to many, many people.

“I want to thank the members of the Academy. To all you people who are watching on television, thank you for taking such a warm interest in our glorious industry. Good night.”