By Abolish Tenure
Tuesday, December 9, 2025 at 7:27:00 p.m. est
Stephen A. Smith and MTG?
Hey, Stephen A. Smith, tough luck, cross off Ted Koppel's abc from your list of possible late night platforms for launching a candidacy. Hang in there, Colbert has six months to go. You might have to bring the bow-tie boys to drag him out of the seat, though.
Ditto for MTG camped out in the Green[e] Room waiting for the call onstage to share her grievances to the nation. Again. And again. Rumour is that the 60 Minutes producers couldn't take any more of her and had a page dump her at the Sullivan. Then again, you and her might hit it off. Both in your fifties, she's on the rebound and you're on the unbound.
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Is MTG,Mary Tyler Greene? You could have an entirely new show,with the same cast--except for MTM.
Lou Grant:Morning,Mary. Heyyy,you look different...but I just can't place WHY. WHY?
Mary Tyler Greene:Better--or worse,Lou?(smiling)
Lou:Before I answer that,you called me "Lou"--I need a drink.
(Staggers to his office,closes the door quietly)
Murray:You DO look different than yesterday,Mare. And you keep telling me about various "death threats" you've received in the last month.
Mary Tyler Greene:That's right,Murray. Say,what do you think about the Israeli military action in Gaza?
Murray:Huh? We've never talked foreign...stuff...in all the time I've known you,Mary. Why now?
Mary Tyler Greene:Well...
(Ted strolls in)
Ted Baxter:Hey guys.Oh.oh,I must have put on too much aftershave again this morning--I'm hallucinating that Mary isn't Mary anymore. And by the way everyone,there are 10 men wearing masks and carrying machine guns just outside the door.
Mary Tyler Greene:That's my security team. I've had death threats,Ted.
Ted:(Gulp)I'll be in the studio until airtime.
GRA:I didn't SAY it'd be as funny.
--GRA
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