By Grand Rapids Anonymous
tuesday, june 17, 2025 at 12:19:00 a.m. edt
Camel and Horse Races at Tehran Race Track See Record Winning Times as Bombs Explode Nearby
GRA:Today's 4 camel and 6 horse racecard all saw record winning times, as bombs exploded near the Tehran Race Track and Casino.
In race one,"Ayatollah's Humpin'" ran the mile in 22 seconds, defeating, "Kurds and Turds" by a nose. After two explosions, early in the race, "Kurds and Turds" seemed to pull away, but then a final loud detonation was heard, which jolted "Ayatollah's Humpin'" past the field--some say airborne.
Other camel race winners were:
Race 2: "No Dollah, No Holla, No Allah"
Race 3: I Ran (So Far Away)
Race 4: "One Hump or Two"?
In the horse features:
The aptly named, "Bombs Away" took race 5 at 50-1.
Race 6 went to "Mohammad's Meltdown."
Race 7 saw "Akbar This" side step two drone explosions to defeat "Mostafa's MIA."
Race 8: "Evacuate" led from start to finish.
Race 9: "Khamenei's Krappin'" won his first start under new owner Benjamin Netanyahu.
"Surrender" wrapped up the day by winning his third straight race, before running off through a hole in the racecourse stadium into a nearby field.
Next racing scheduled for Saturday (if track is still standing).
--GRA
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3 comments:
Compulsive gambler, who, me? Here's next month's rent money, I'm playing the trifatwa in the seventh.
1) I'm sticking with Infidel Bride to win. Avoided yet another honor killing at the glue factory.
2) Mister Mohamm-Ed to place. Ignore scandal about trainer Wilbur feeding non-halal oats.
3) And that nag called Hillary's Server to show. Runs fast when told that the law is in pursuit.
Fyi:Thursday,the Tehran race track was downgraded from explosively fast to moon crater-like. Crews are working around the clock to repair various sections of the track in time for Saturday(Thursday postponed).
--GRA
With the U.S. bombings tonight,it was fortunate that the day's camel and horse races were able to take place or more records would have been set. Rule #1: A flying horse is faster than a running horse. Trump will speak at 10 pm.
--GRA
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