By Grand Rapids Anonymous
thursday, february 13, 2025 at 10:31:00 p.m. est
jets will release Aaron Rodgers, attempt to sign “more mobile Joe Namath”
GRA: On wednesday, jets owner, Woody Johnson, thanked Aaron Rodgers, “for being so brittle,” and “for giving up a year’s playing time in exchange for $37.5 million of my hard-earned money, and then proving he was less mobile, at 41 years old, than most people are at 70.”
Johnson continued: “With this in mind, it is my intention to sign late-1960s, jet icon, Joe Namath, to a five-year, $20 million contract. First, he’ll be more mobile than our last quarterback—which I’ll explain—and most importantly, his contract will cost us less money than our last quarterback.”
A new football position will be invented for the return of Joe Willie—“wheelchair pusher.” That player will move Namath around on the field in a wheelchair, until the former alabama qb can find an open receiver. Permission for this new position was granted by the nfl.
--GRA
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