Thursday, July 21, 2016

The Great, Undeclared Conflict of Our Time: Joe Prich Wages War on Condiments, and Those Who Love Them!


Del Monte ketchup--haven't bought Heinz since 2004; main ingredients: tomatoes, vinegar, and sugar

By Nicholas Stix


Gulden's mustard: Main ingredients: Distilled vinegar, water, and mustard seed

@JoePrich Look, Joe, I personally use very little in the way of condiments on my food, though I have a family member who's very big on them, but they are a very big deal to civilization, after spices. Try making spare ribs, tuna salad, dips, etc. without them. Vinegar and sugar and tomatoes and mustard seed make the world go round!

I think Joe may not have thought this thing through, and was only thinking of hamburgers. He’s bound to offend the huge constituency of people who slather their burgers with ketchup, mustard, and/or mayo.

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, because I’m a tolerant man, and I like him. But look before you leap into this fray, Joe! Act presidential!


Pickle relish: Main ingredients: Pickles, cider vinegar, sugar and salt (there's a recurrent theme here)




Extropico said...

My burger requires ketchup, mustard, salt and pepper and should have dill pickles and onion, as well.

Mayo on burgers or fries in unAmerican and denies the perpetrator Natural Born Citizen status pursuant to the Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798.

Anonymous said...

Since everything nowadays is served Mex style taco with hot sauce, why even need other condiments?

Too are condiments to be counted as a vegetable according for school lunch purposes?