By Nicholas Stix
I am the founder of the Booboisie, the Society for the Study of the Female Breast.
In previous disquisitions on mammary monstrosities, I have observed that fake boobs, unlike the real McCoy, defeat the law of gravity. They are top, instead of bottom-heavy.
Even young women, who have yet to bear children, must obey the law of gravity. And yet, fake boobs jut upwards, and are massive on top, where they should be smaller.
There is another gravitational aspect to women’s breasts, the bottom half. Real breasts fold over on the bottom half. Fake breasts typically don’t. At the bottom, the bosom juts out from the chest, as if the woman in question had donned a couple of upside-down salad bowls. No one is naturally that firm.
Some men may find the upside-down salad bowl look an in improvement over nature. I’ll stick with nature.