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Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Aspiring Rapper Arrested for Murder of Aspiring Rapper

Re-posted by Nicholas Stix
 

Aspiring Rapper Arrested for Murder of Aspiring Rapper
By Question Diversity (Countenance Blogmeister)

ST. LOUIS, Mo. (FNN) – Nu’dandrifftavious Jones, a 19-year old aspiring rapper from St. Louis, has been arrested for the murder of Doodooquan Williams, 18, also an aspiring rapper from St. Louis. The murder happened at a home in the Fairgrounds neighborhood just north of Fairgrounds Park.

“How could someone kill my baby?,” screamed Euquestrian Williams, 33, the victim’s mother, in an interview with Fake News Network. “He was a good boy, an honor roll student, a great athlete, who happened to fall in with the wrong crowd but was in the process of turning his life around. He was like the best son a mother could ever have, you know. And there he is, lying in a box, another victim of these streets.”

La-a Jones, 33, the mother of the suspect, was equally as despondent in her interview with FNN reporters. “There was this here shooting, and this here boy got kilt, and then the police came around and arrested my baby boy for no reason. He don’t do no murdering, he’s a good boy, an honor roll student, a great athlete, who happened to fall in with the wrong crowd but was in the process of turning his life around. He was like a mother’s dream come true, know what I’m saying? And my baby is sittin’ in jail, another victim of these streets.”

Nu’dandrifftavious Jones remains in the St. Louis City Jail in advance of a bond hearing tomorrow, when he is expected to be ordered held without bail.
 

[P.S.: I would not have re-posted this in its entirety, if QD/CB had posted it at Countenance Blog, as opposed to American Renaissance, but I checked and did not find it at the former site. I am convinced that it will become a classic, on a par with the New York Post headline, “Headless Body in Topless Bar,” although the latter was based on a real killing.

I am deliberately not teasing out all the layers of irony; I leave that pleasurable task to my readers.]

2 comments:

countenance said...

http://countenance.wordpress.com/2013/09/06/aspiring-rapper-arrested-for-murder-of-aspiring-rapper/

There's more where that came from, some better than others:

http://countenance.wordpress.com/category/parody-news-stories/

Anonymous said...

They are all aspiring rappers not to even mention that they are all aspiring perps.