Breaking News! The Jets Still Have a Chance! The Dallas Cowboys are Releasing Veteran, Star QB Tony Romo Tomorrow!

[Tony Romo’s career stats.]

By Nicholas Stix

I am interrupting my fund-raiser, in order to announce that the New Jersey Jets, whose fan I’ve been since 1968, have a shot at signing their first big-time QB since Vinny Testaverde in the previous millennium.

Either this is the lucky break Jets fans have been praying for, since Ryan Fitzpatrick, or Kilpatrick, or Joe Schmoe, got it in his head to screw the team by holding out all summer camp last year, or yet another cosmic joke, giving owner Woody Johnson and his mismanagement team yet another opportunity to put their incompetence on parade.

Which’ll it be?

A few years ago, at the end of the season in which Mark “100% Mexican” Sanchez suffered the football equivalent of a nervous breakdown during a game against the Patriots, I checked out the league QB stats. Every team had a talented quarterback… except the Jets. There were great rookies and near rookies, like Andrew Luck, Cam Newton, Tyrod Taylor (at first, I wrote “Telford”!) and Robert Griffin III; great graybeards, like the Brothers Manning and Tom Brady; and great veterans still in their prime, like Aaron Rodgers. But the Jets had Mark Sanchez.

Granted, some of the aforementioned gentlemen have failed to realize their early promise, but what have the Jets had? One great 15-game season from a journeyman who choked in game 16, throwing three picks, when a win would have gotten us into the playoffs…

And then launching what his agent, Woodrow Wilson, called the holdout to end all holdouts.