400

Any day now, 400 ear plugs are due, via UPS, to show up at the Stix household.

Skeptics may be thinking, “Four hundred ear plugs? Doesn’t that mean 200 pairs?”

Well, yes. But doesn’t “400” sound more impressive than “200”?

Besides, sometimes I get an earache in one ear, and have to gut it out, with only one ear plug.

Ah, where was I? Oh, yeah.

Since shortly after returning home to America on August 26, 1985, after a five-year exile in West Germany, high-quality foam ear plugs have been a mainstay for me.

Before leaving for Deutschland on July 31, 1980, I didn’t need ear plugs, but while over there, my sleep got messed up. On top of that, New York is a loud city. I recall during my first couple of years here, car alarms were constantly going off, and once they started, they’d go for hours without shutting down. Remember?

For over 20 years, if memory serves, I’ve sworn by Flents Quiet Please! Although other brands and types have higher noise reduction ratings, in practice FQP do a much better job. I buy FQPs online from a guy angling to be The Richest Man in the Universe. I haven’t seen this kind of ear plugs in stores in years, and when I did, it was in tiny, relatively expensive packs.

To make a short story long, I am asking you, my readers, to please subsidize my Flents usage.

A nice, round number would be $1,000,000, but donations of $10 and $20 will also be greatly appreciated! Please hit the “Donation” button at the top.

I thank you, and your posterity will, too.

Sincerely,

Nicholas Stix