Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Ted Cruz is Dead, but He Refuses to Admit It

By Nicholas Stix
Corrected, revised, and extended on Wednesday, April 27, 2016, at 5:05 a.m.

A 1984 episode of the classic, humorous, horror TV show, Tales from the Dark Side, “A Case of the Stubborns,” was about an old man who dies, but who refuses to admit it. His family tells him he’s dead, but Grandpa Titus Tolliver (Eddie Bracken) insists he’s still alive. However, like it or not, he starts decomposing. Finally, one day, Grandpa’s nose falls off! Then he embarrassedly resigns himself to being dead, and goes and lies down on his bed.

Today, Ted Cruz’ nose fell off, but will he acknowledge that his presidential campaign is dead?

Far be it from me to condemn a man for stubbornness. While I’m an easygoing feller, I live in a home surrounded by bullheaded types.

In spite of being up against two rivals, Donald Trump got over 50% of the vote in all five primaries. His enemies used to say, “He’s got a ceiling of 30%.” Then it was, “He’s got a ceiling of 35%.” So, what are they going to say now? “He’s got a ceiling of 60%”? Trump is now averaging over 55% (54.4-63.8%), while Cruz is averaging under 20% (10.4-21.6%), and only beat Kasich, and barely at that, in Pennsylvania. And yet, Cruz and his spokesman keep on saying that Trump is a marginal candidate. Even CNN’s David Gergen, a political chameleon, said on Monday night that it’s ridiculous for people supporting Cruz, who has much less support, to keep on calling call Trump a “marginal, fringe” candidate.

Trump has been the presumptive Republican nominee since March 1, and yet his enemies in the Republican Party and the mainstream media have constantly denied this reality. On Tuesday, one of his enemies’ TV mouthpieces lied and said, “You’re not the presumptive nominee, until you have 1,237 delegates.”

No, once you have 1,237 delegates, you’re the nominee, pure and simple, no qualifier. The only point to calling someone the “presumptive nominee,” is because the frontrunner doesn’t yet have the required number of delegates, but is a lock to get them.

On the eve of Tuesday’s primaries, Ted Cruz’ chief flack denied that the results, whatever they would be, would have any effect on Cruz, still claimed that Trump would not make it to the required 1,237 delegates, and asserted that Cruz would go to the convention in Cleveland, and win on the second ballot. On Tuesday, Republican writer Mary Katharine Ham asserted that just because you get 1,100 delegates, “They don’t give you 1,237.”

Actually, unless you’re looking to consign the GOP to the dustbin of history, it means just that. The question regarding Ham, whom I once respected now is, Is she in Cruz’ pocket, Kasich’s, or a donor’s? (While I support Trump, I’m in nobody’s pocket. I recently twitted him that he was stupid to promise to fix the economy overnight.)

Around 12:30 a.m. early Wednesday, some of the lefty talking heads at CNN finally admitted that Trump is the “presumptive nominee” of the Republican Party.

If Ted Cruz wants to hang around without a nose on his face, that’s his corpsely prerogative. As for John Kasich, we’ll hopefully find out one day what dark demons urge him on. In the meantime, get ready for what promises to be one of the wildest rides in American electoral history, what’s left of it!


Anonymous said...

Great epsode with Christian Slater but it was Tales from the Dark Side if anyone is interested in seeing it

Nicholas said...

Thanks for the correction! I'm working on it.

Anonymous said...

Didn't mean to seem condescending but that episode is the perfect analogy for Lyin Ted's predicament

Anonymous said...

Cruz was not qualified to run for president. He was a Canadian, born of two Canadian citizens. He knows that. What is he doing with all that money he has received for his unqualified run for the presidency? Spent it? That's hundreds of millions of dollars.

Nicholas said...

Anon 9:27 a.m.,

Obama has sanctified and eliminated that part of the Constitution, sort of the way that blacks have sanctified and eliminated the requirement that a child not be born a bastard, in order to get his father's last name on his birth certificate.