Saturday, September 05, 2015

Are They Playing Baseball in Miami, or Basketball?!

By Nicholas Stix

“A wonderful, creative defensive play, and he may be running for office.”
Mets announcer Gary Cohen, on Bartolo Colon

The Mets are beating the Marlins 7-0 in Miami, going in the top of the eighth inning.

With two outs in the bottom of the sixth, big, burly Marlins slugger Justin Bour, a certified Mets killer, hit a slow roller down the first base line. Right-handed Mets starter Bartolo Colon (12-11), who is officially 42 years old, 5’11,” and 285 lbs., but actually more like 5’9,” 300 lbs., and as old as Methusaleh (he’s Dominican, and they’re creative about their age), picks up the ball, and tosses a perfect strike to Colin Campbell at first base… behind his back!

When you’re fat as a house, running on fumes, making up pitches as you go, and still finding a way to win in the Big Leagues, every day is fun.

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