Wednesday, November 07, 2018

Duranty-Blair Awards End in Chaos (What Else?)

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
Wednesday, October 31, 2018 at 10:33:00 P.M. EDT

(GRA-Hoboken, N.J.) The latest edition of the DBAs came to a sudden end at a local Motel 6 tonight, when it was crashed by Antifa protesters, just as the final presentation was being made.

The night started smoothly with a buffet dinner comprised of Halloween candy and a few comments from host Ben Stein.

“Nowadays, it takes a lot to get me to do something like this anymore—but the all-you-can-eat Snickers bars did it,” Stein commented with both mouth cheeks crammed full of candy--like a squirrel eating nuts.

“As for tonight’s awards, I'm proud to say I've never heard of Manu Raju or Ana Cabrera, and I'll probably only remember their names for another five minutes, if that long. So, I’d better get to these awards.

“Now, for extreme exaggeration in reporting, in the case of Mr. Raju, and outright fraud of a quote by President Trump, as offered by Ms.Cabrera, I present these Duranty-Blair plaques in recognition of your despicable journalism.”

Just as the two winners got up to collect their hardware, the side door burst open and witnesses (two hookers) claim around 60 Antifa members charged the stage—on their way to the buffet table.

“Trick or fu**ing treat,” the mob yelled. “Kill whitey,” screamed the 60 whites, as they filled their pockets with leftover Reese's cups.

Police moved in to clear the room, actually allowing the Antifa thugs to escape, while taking their place at the buffet table.

“They weren't really Antifa,” said one cop, doing an impression of Ben Stein eating, “they're just kids on Halloween.”

Stein was not injured in the melee. The next Duranty-Blair Award ceremony is scheduled for Thanksgiving Eve.

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