By Grand Rapids Anonymous
friday, august 25, 2023 at 9:40:00 p.m. edt
When we last left the brave, White family Robinsons—they had just landed the Jupiter 2—a la Harry Sullenberger—in the Hudson and gone exploring the various boroughs of NYC. This week: The Bronx.
Will Robinson: Robot, let’s try riding the subway.
Robot: As you wish, Will Robinson. My sensors, however, detect large groups of negroes.
(Will and the robot enter the subway train and run into Roland Henegan immediately.)
Will: Who are YOU?
(Wearing a mask and looking nuts, Henegen raises a knife.)
“Danger, danger, Will Robinson.”
(Robot sends his electrical voltage at Henegen, subduing the negro monster.)
Robot: Less danger, but not eliminated.
(Professor Robinson and Major West, the only other Whites on the train, come running, after hearing the robot’s voice.)
Prof Robinson: WILL,what are you doing here? I told you to stay off the subways.
Will: I only wanted to explore...
Maj. West: What—Africa? That’s what this is, Will—without the trees. Look, the blacks
are surrounding the robot.
Will: Leave him alone!
(Twenty-to-thirty black thugs were attempting to stab the robot, when suddenly, the mechanical man emitted an energy field from its power pack, sending the mob of black thugs flying backwards.)
Prof Robinson: The subway’s stopping; let’s make a run for it.
Maj West: Let’s GO!
(As the four began heading back to the safety of the Jupiter 2, two police cruisers pull alongside, impeding their progress—black cops pour out.)
Robot: Danger, danger.
black cops: Stop! You the Whites on the subway back there?
Prof Robinson: That’s right.
black cop: You’re under arrest—you seriously injured an innocent black with electrical burns-he may not make it.
Maj West: They all had KNIVES—we were defending ourselves from a mob of thugs. It was self-defense!
black cop: There’s no such thing as self-defense for Whites under “black law.” Get in the cruiser, honkeys—that piece-of-junk robot will have to be towed.
Will: DAD!
(To be continued)
--GRA
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LOST IN (NEW YORK )SPACE 2023
(Conclusion)
(When we last left the Robinsons,Professor Robinson,Major West,Will and the robot had been arrested in NYC on phony charges of causing injury to black thugs.)
Will:What are we going to do?
Prof Robinson:I'm sure we'll get a fair trial...
(The black cops turn around in the front seat and,showing their gold teeth,laugh at Professor Robinson)
"You gonna git a fair trial all right--just like Donald Trump is,HAHAHA"
Major West:Donald Trump?He was sentenced to 1000 years in prison by black juries in 4 different cases--prosecuted by black DAs.We're screwed,John.
(Just as the cops began to laugh again,the Robinson women--in the legendary chariot-- rolled over the front of the cruiser,popping the doors open.
Mrs.Robinson:John--here,I brought some jet packs
(Within seconds,the Robinsons AND the robot--were flying back to the safety of the Jupiter 2).
(They lifted off immediately)
Major West:That is some EFFED up country,John.Being from the future as we are,I'm amazed the United States could have veered that far from it's original beliefs.
Prof Robinson:It was the blecks,Don--it was the blecks.I don't know how Whites survived the 2020s--but we did--and became the greatest race in Earth's history,all over again.
Dr.Smith(speaking to the robot):Except for the Whites who created YOU,ninny.Your creators must have have made you part negro,as you're a completely worthless piece of machinery.
Robot:Yowza,Dr.Smith.
(Everyone laughs)
END
ANOTHER WHITEY LEGEND PASSES;BOB BARKER CHECKS OUT AT 99.
Bob Barker, the legendary host of The Price Is Right, has died, PEOPLE can confirm. He was 99.
(GRA:Which proves that an affair with Dian Parkinson will keep you alive for at least three more decades.)
Barker died of natural causes in his longtime Hollywood Hills home this week, Roger Neal — who served as his publicist from 1987 through 1994, and again from 2020 — announced Saturday on behalf of Barker's girlfriend, Nancy Burnet.
(Bob,at 99,had a GF?What a stud.)
“It is with profound sadness that we announce that the World’s Greatest MC who ever lived, Bob Barker, has left us," Neal said in a statement.
“I am so proud of the trailblazing work Barker, and I did together to expose the cruelty to animals in the entertainment industry and including working to improve the plight of abused and exploited animals in the United States and internationally," Burnet added in her own. "We were great friends over these 40 yrs. He will be missed.”
Barker is survived by his half-brother Kent Valandra and half-nephews Robert Valandra and Chip Valandra, as well as a half-niece, Vickie Valandra Kelly.
The TV personality has battled various health problems in the past few years. In January 2019, paramedics were called to Barker's Hollywood Hills home after he fell at his residence. Although an ambulance was on the scene, he was not hospitalized.
Several months earlier, Barker's manager confirmed to PEOPLE that an ambulance and the fire department responded to his Hollywood Hills home for a "non-emergency back problem" in October 2018.
Afterwards, his manager said Barker was "fine and resting at home." The incident came more than a year after he fell and hit his head at his home in June 2017.
GRA:His style of speaking always reminded me of Jack Benny.
I could tell--back in the day--he was canoodling with the sexiest woman of the day(all time?),Dian Parkinson.At the end of the shows,they'd play around like teenagers and I told my buddy at work--"He's DOING her!"
"No he isn't."
Then,years later, the news came out about a lawsuit by Parkinson(infuriated because he dumped her)and I thought,"I knew it."
Lucky bastard.
--GRA
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