By Grand Rapids Anonymous
wednesday, october 29, 2025 at 12:04:00 p.m. edt
truckload of "little jacquariouses" escapes from a truck in mississippi; most are caught at ihop restaurant (I'm j o k i n g)
"(Fox noise) truckload of 'aggressive' research monkeys escape after truck crash in mississippi; 1 still on the loose
"the primates were carrying hepatitis c, herpes, covid in Jasper county
"a truck hauling monkeys from Tulane university in new orleans, flipped on a mississippi highway, freeing several large, 'aggressive' monkeys.
"after the wreck, which happened north of Heidelberg, multiple rhesus monkeys escaped into the community, according to the Jasper county sheriff's office.
"'the monkeys are approximately 40lbs, they are aggressive to humans, and they require ppe [personal protective equipment] to handle,' the sheriff's office wrote in a facebook post.
"the animals carry hepatitis c, herpes and covid, deputies said.
"all but one were.caught and destroyed.
GRA: The remaining monkey was seen on philadelphia tv, reporting the evening news. He escaped when sheriffs apprehended a "different monkey" in the studio.
--GRA
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TED BAXTER CLARIFIES THAT THE MAN SHOT AND KILLED,FOR ATTEMPTING TO STOP A CAR BURGLARY IN MINNEAPOLIS,"WAS NOT ME."
Ted Baxter:Good evening,I'm Ted Baxter with the news.
(cbs noise/Minneapolis)A man was shot and killed outside his south Minneapolis workplace Thursday morning after interrupting an attempted theft from a car, police said.
Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O'Hara said the shooting happened around 6:30 a.m. on the 2600 block of 32nd Avenue South. He said the victim — a man in his 40s — confronted a would-be thief in the parking lot and after a brief struggle, the suspect shot the victim.
O'Hara called it "an incredibly petty and minor offense for someone to lose their life over."
Baxter:Let me put to rest rumors about the identity of the deceased individual--it was NOT me. And because it wasn't me--I'll have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow.
--GRA
--GRA
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