Heeeere's Johnny! It’s the Afterlife Tonight Show, Starring Johnny Carson, with Ed McMahon, Tonight’s Guest Star, Burt Reynolds, and Some Surprising Stiffs!

 

Bandleader Doc Severinsen, left; Johnny Carson, center; and sidekick Ed McMahon
 

The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson Theme Song
 

 

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.” Johnny Carson, from one of his thousands of monologues.
 

By Grand Rapids Anonymous-I'm a white man
Friday, September 7, 2018 at 1:47:00 A.M. EDT
 

 

Burt Reynolds is the latest guest on Johnny Carson's Afterlife Tonight Show.

Ed: Tonight, Johnny's guests are Burt Reynolds, Harry Anderson, and Jack Benny. And now, heeeere's Johnny:
 

Harry Anderson on Night Court 

Jack Benny
 

(Applause)

Johnny: Thank you. Welcome to the Afterlife Tonight Show, where all your earthly favorites come to decompose (laugh).

We have a brand new member of our group, he just died today... Mr. Burt Reynolds (applause).

HE died today—my monologue died yesterday (laughs).

Remember that, Ed?
 

Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon 

Ed: Yessir, oh great one.

Johnny: Already on our couch is my hero, Jack Benny, Don Rickles, and former Night Court star Harry Anderson, all here to greet Burt Reynolds (more applause).

(Burt sits)
 

Burt Reynolds and Dinah Shore 

Reynolds and Sally Field 

Johnny: Heart attack, huh, Burt?

Burt: Yeah, one minute I had three 20-year-old groupies on the verge of total satisfaction, and the next minute I'm in make-up for this show. Quick transition.

Johnny: Well, we like to get the fresh names on as soon as they're available. I can only listen to Rickles talk about Sinatra and CPO Sharkey for so long (audience laughs).
 

Don Rickles and Johnny Carson 

Rickles: That's funny, John, but since you brought it up... Sinatra said he liked CPO Sharkey more than The Tonight Show.

(Johnny stares at Rickles, then looks into the camera.) (Audience laughs)
 

 

Johnny: I hate to break it to you, Don, but Frank Sinatra never even HEARD of CPA Sharkey.

Rickles: CPO SHARKEY!!! (audience laughs)

Johnny: Burt, we were going to have Judy Carne join us tonight. Loni Anderson, too, but she's not dead yet.

Burt: She was on our wedding night (laughs).
 

Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson 

Ed: Hi-yoooo.

Johnny: Okay, looks like we end on a high note. Thanks to all my guests. Tomorrow, we'll dig up a few more of your favorites. Good night, everyone.


GRA: Burt was a great entertainer, seemed like a good guy, didn't take himself seriously. I say it all the time, but there are not great stars like that anymore. No, we're stuck with Cedric the Entertainer, Anthony Anderson, and Black Panther movies.
 

The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson: Closing Theme: “Li'l Darlin,’” Count Basie Version
 


 

Johnny waves farewell