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Tuesday, December 05, 2017

How to Ensure Your Son Will Die

 

RIP, T.J. Curly, 12
 

By Nicholas Stix

1. Don’t put fresh batteries in your smoke detector;
2. Smoke in bed; and
3. When you wake up and see your apartment is on fire, don’t check on your son, but instead run and scream for someone else to save him.

At CBS New York.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hate to sound flippant but also don't take the batteries out of the smoke detector to run the boom box or other battery powered device. And make sure even if your smoke detector connected to the AC line have a second smoke detector battery powered only. Fires often start in circuit breaker panels with the AC cut off.

Anonymous said...

jerry pdx
We can't satirize the hypocrisy of these people more than they do themselves. Check out this story: http://www.msn.com/en-us/music/celebrity/multi-millionaire-lily-allen-sparks-backlash-after-saying-shell-be-homeless-as-tenants-in-her-london-flat-refuse-to-move-out/ar-BBGgHfK?li=BBnbfcL
Lily Allen, a British singer, in order to display her diversity credentials to the world, pledged to rent her London flat to "immigrants", which according to the article, actually turned out to be diplomats (does not say from what country), it isn't explained how these diplomats qualify as "immigrants" but it turns out these "diplomats" are now refusing to move out and claiming diplomatic immunity. Now Ms. Allen is tweeting her predicament to the world and crying how she's going to be "homeless" for the holidays. Cry us a river Ms. Allen.

Ms. Allen recently generated controversy by making a trip to Calais, and seeing a 13 yr. Afghani old boy living in poor conditions, broke down and apologized for her country. There was a tremendous backlash after that comment so she announced on the Victoria Derbyshire who that she would "of course" take in a displaced child migrant. Again, no information on how "diplomats" qualify as "a child migrant" she was supposed to take in. I'm guessing that she assumed diplomats would be able to cover the rent on an expensive flat, whereas an actual dirt poor migrant might leave her holding the entire financial bag herself. Is this poetic justice? Stay tuned on this story for more hilarious details, I can't wait.