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Monday, December 18, 2017

Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Forced to Sell Team, and Other Future Headlines

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
Monday, December 18, 2017 at 1:46:00 A.M. EST

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is in hot water, after he was seen frowning at Ezekiel Elliot last Tuesday. As Elliot ran through drills on the practice field, a picture was taken of Jones dourly looking at the Cowboys RB. It was posted on Facebook.

The NFL Players Association said, "The frown looked racist in nature and we are leaning toward asking Jones to sell the team."

Breaking news: Jones to sell team over racist glare, though Jones claims the look was the result of gas and constipation.

"But I guess I have to sell."

Elsewhere: A long list of women are coming out with accusations that comedian Jerry Seinfeld complimented them on their appearance.
"Nice dress," was one of the more lewd comments reportedly made by Seinfeld to the women he's met over the years. "Nice hairdo," is another shocker.

Also, Seinfeld is rumored to have smiled at the women—on more than one occasion.

The white male bashing team of Allred and Bloom brought over a hundred women to a press conference, who all claimed the same thing:

"We felt violated when he moved his mouth into a smiling position."

Said another, "At the very least, we want him to stop doing his Coffee in Cars internet show. Every time he smiles on that show, or God forbid, laughs—it brings back horrible memories."

A class action lawsuit is also asking for $100 million for pain and humiliation.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Not far from the mark. Probably will happen. Like the guy in San Diego. Had to sell his basketball team for telling his mistress not to sit with so many negro players. The man was thought by the rest of the owners to be an impediment of some sort so they forced him to sell. Or the players union as is stated will approach the owners of the rest of the teams and no more games until Jerry goes.