See Pics of the Hot New French Actress, Valérie Trierweiler!

 
Valérie Trierweiler, at the May 15 swearing-in of Francois Hollande as President of France

By Nicholas Stix

Alright, I was just teasing. She’s actually… well, what is she, exactly?

Unless my French is even worse than I thought it was, the French Wikipedia (not to be confused with America’s Pretend Encyclopedia) refers to her as the “first lady of France”: « la Première dame de France ». And Google.com returns 1,090,000 hits under “valérie trierweiler” + “first lady.”

That would mean that she’s married to M. Hollande. But she’s not. She’s just his girlfriend. Thus, she is literally, the First Girlfriend of France. And given the way she got herself up for her paramour’s inauguration, that’s really too kind. “First Mistress”? “First Slut”?

At the rate that France is falling, in a few years, Trierweiler may have to trade in her revealing (though otherwise tasteful, especially for an actress) duds for an oversized, black Moslem pillow case.

That might be just as well, as this unretouched close-up from May 3, suggests that her May 15 picture had some “help.”
 


 

Although Trierweiler has been with Hollande since 2006, she is still married to her second husband and the father of her three sons, Denis Trierweiler.

Some decadents will surely say, as they do whenever French decadence arises (raping children, etc.) , that the French are much more “adult” about such things than “prudish” Americans.

Actually, no. It was, after all, a Frenchman who gave the world the wisdom that hypocrisy consists of vice paying tribute to virtue.

When you’re really the First Lady, you can wear your wrinkles with pride. But when you’re just the First Girlfriend, wrinkles merely show that it’s time for the First Boyfriend (“First Stud”? No; Hollande has no children of his own. “First Tomcat”? He doesn’t much look the part, either.) to trade you in for a new model.