White Girl to Asian Students at UCLA: Stop with the Cell Phones in the Library!

By Nicholas Stix



The most important question regarding Miss Alexandra Wallace is, of course: Are they real? The number two question is, Is she slim or chubby? Of course, if the answer to question number one is “No,” then the answer to question number two is moot.

Miss Wallace’s imposition of her mea culpa on the most important part of the screen ruined her video. The staff at WEJB/NSU is feverishly seeking after an unexpurgated version. (If you roll back the video to the beginning, you can see her without the eyesore of the mea culpa. Her shoulders and arms appear to be those of a slim girl, and it is possible that she is wearing a helpful brassiere designed by a mechanical engineer—The Better Mousetrap People TM).

Apparently numerous Asian students did not appreciate the important questions about Miss Wallace, and instead have threatened to murder her, helped by someone who posted the schedule of her finals online.

Alexandra Wallace, a third year political science student at the University of California, has also asked campus police for help after receiving multiple death threats by phone and email.

She may even have to reschedule her finals amid safety concerns because details of her exam timetable were made public on the internet.

[“UCLA student who posted racist rant on YouTube says sorry - as video prompts death threats,” by Anonymous, Daily Mail, Last updated at 5:07 p.m. on March 15, 2011.]

(The Daily Mail’s original title was: “Alexandra Wallace YouTube racist Asian rant on day of Japan tsunami,” but I guess the editors at the Mail decided to change it, after the possibility of their being complicit in Wallace’s murder occurred to them.)

Having done her mea culpa, Miss Wallace will presumably be entering therapy and sensitivity training any day now—if racist Asian students don’t murder her first.

Thanks to FrapMocha.

A tip ‘o the hat to Lawrence Auster.