Wednesday, July 15, 2020

All Good Things Must End: Stix-Led, Mets Winning Streak—of 54 Games in a Row, Will Evaporate—as (Unfortunately) the Real Baseball Season Begins

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
Wednesday, July 15, 2020 at 9:46:00 A.M. EDT

The faux 2020 Mets season, described here on occasion since April 1st was entertaining, I hope. The reporting of the fake games was for the pure fun of it—and to allow the host of this blog to get a slight baseball fix every so often.

The season began with an opening day perfect game for 8 2/3 innings by Jacob deGrom—and a huge lead—which inexplicably turned into a record- setting loss. That failure started a manic daily ritual by Mets General Manager Brady Van Wagonen—of firing and hiring managers after every defeat, searching in vain for someone who could win a game.

The names were stellar, Trump, Pence, Lasorda, Schwarzenegger, DeVito, Hanks, Moreno, Crystal, Seinfeld(and cast), Koosman, Gentry, Giuliani and so many more. Ron Cey and Rosie O’Donnell contributed memorably to the Mets incredible early season—in totally different ways—but unfortunately, there were no wins. In fact, that first loss on April Fools’ Day, snowballed into 26 consecutive losses—a major league record for futility.

In early May, President Trump—from the White House—managed the Mets to their first victory, a rain-shortened game that was subsequently taken to the 7th District Court by the ACLU—the legal group claiming Trump superceded his powers in pressuring baseball commissioner, Rob Manfred, to end the game early.

The victory was disallowed, but the President's lawyers appealed the decision to the Supreme Court, which stayed the loss—setting up a likely September ruling. The victory stood for now.

Finally, in mid-May, as an unknown virus began spreading among the Mets team, a new “Masked Manager” was hired—someone the press could not identify because of the medical mask he wore at all times to avoid contracting the highly contagious illness. This covering became a good luck charm, as the unknown 28th Mets manager of the season, won his debut against division-leading Atlanta—and proceeded to a weekend sweep. The winning continued unabated, and to add to the momentum, trades were executed to improve the roster. Brought into New York’s Citi Field were star players, Mike Trout, Ryan Zimmerman, and Paul Goldschmidt. Sent packing were all the minority players. The clubhouse quickly became legendary for its cohesiveness and attitude. This team was having a blast—
and Mets players, to a man, called the camaraderie, “the greatest I’ve ever been associated with.”

After the record was set for most wins in a row, the “Masked Manager” unmasked, to reveal himself to be Nicholas Stix, writer extraordinaire. However, removing the mask didn’t cause the winning to stop—far from it—
NOTHING stopped the winning.

Through the end of May, all of June and into July, there were comeback wins, blowouts, shutouts and slugfests—but all victories—FIFTY FOUR CONSECUTIVE WINS were tallied, up to the current date of July 15th.This incredible streak had propelled the Mets record from a 1-37 mark to the current 55-37—and a one-game lead over the Braves in the N.L. East—truly an amazing achievement.

But the real season beckons, so the fake one must end.

What would have happened to these 2020 faux Mets?

You make the call.

As we lean forward to hear,

Those two words—“Play ball!”
--GR Anonymous

N.S.: Thanks for everything, GRA!

I apologize for missing two or three of your fantasy reports, which got buried somewhere. If you have them handy and can post them as comments, or send them to, I’ll post them with an explanation for the fans.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What If Sports is very good for that kinda stuff.