Wednesday, December 24, 2025

In minneapolis, crime is so bad that McDonald's has to lock the doors, to keep out unusually bad, black criminals

kentucky fried shooting at jacksonville

By Abolish Tenure
wednesday, december 24, 2025 at 7:54:00 p.m. est

In minneapolis, crime is so bad that McDonald's has to lock the doors, to keep out unusually bad, black criminals

kfc shooting but you'll have to get past the doorman for your big mac attack: "McDonald's locks doors to keep out individuals who present 'a risk' in crime-ridden minneapolis area."

uptown franchise implements security measures after trespassing issues

Attorneys-at-race are here fo' yo' case.



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Ripley's Believe it Or Not" if it lasts a week--or a day.

--GRA

Anonymous said...

Lou Grant:It isn't a very good day today,Mary. That is,it isn't a very good day for ME,Mary. WHY--you ask? I sent Gordy to McDonalds to pick up my daily quarter pounder,for my lunch,and they wouldn't let him in...because they said,he "looks DANGEROUS."

Mary Richards:Well...yes...that's their new policy.

Lou:THEN I sent Baxter to pick up my quarter pounder and they wouldn't let HIM in either. Do you know why,Mary?

Murray:Wait,Lou,can I get in on this,with a wild guess?

Lou:NO! It's because they said he walked like Sherman Hemsley --and that WALK of his--makes Ted dangerous too--they said.

Murray:Why don't you go pick up your own food,Lou?

Lou:Because MURRAY,there are so many blacks hanging outside McDonalds right now--with guns--waiting for a White man--who walks NORMALLY--to show up,so that they can force him to go inside and pick up food for THEM.
.

Murray:Got it,Lou.

(Ted walks in)

Ted:Hi,guys.

Murray:Hi Sherman--how's WEEZY?

Ted:Not funny,Murray. Why don't YOU go make a hamburg run for your boss --huh?

Murray:He just explained it to me.

(Georgette comes in)

Georgette:Hey everyone.Teddy, you left the house without the quarter pounder you made me get you last night,for your lunch today.

Ted:Ssssshhhh.

Lou:TED...to paraphrase an old time comedian,named Jack Benny...your quarter pounder or your job. WELL?

Ted: Just a minute,I'm THINKING about it(starts sobbing).Here,Lou. Merry Christmas.

Lou(grabs it):Thanks Ted.(Goes to his office and starts devouring his food)

Ted:Now what am I going to eat?

Georgette:Here Teddy,I bought extra burgers last night and thought I'd bring them all in--anyone else?

Mary:Whhhhy not?

(Georgette hands them out)

Mary(eating)That was a pretty unlikely ending for the show,Murray. I mean,what are the odds of Georgette saving the day like that?

Murray:During our Christmas show? Pretty darn good,Mary.



END

--GRA