Coming Soon: Play It Again, Epstein to a Theater Near You!

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
wednesday, november 19, 2025 at 10:53:00 a.m. est

Coming Soon: Play It Again, Epstein to a Theater Near You!

Narrarator: "Larry Summers--played by Woody Allen--needs dating advice. So who you gonna call? Not Ghostbusters--but Jeffrey Epstein's GHOST! It's the new comedy/bio flick, Play It Again, Epstein.

"It's 2022 and Larry IS STILL having problems hooking up with Chinese girls. But old friend, Jeffrey Epstein is dead. Here's a clip:"

Woody (Larry): I'm totally clueless at scoring with asian chicks--and since I'm playing Larry Summers and not myself--I can't use my courtship and marriage to my adopted asian daughter to provide me with any help--so who CAN give me salient advice?

Jeffrey Epstein: La-a-a-r-r-y--it's ME, JEFF!

(Larry looks around)

Larry: Jeez, I'm hearing voices--and I only had one spoonful of Mogen David wine after supper tonight.

Epstein: Stop talking to yourself! I'm the ghost of your friend, Jeffrey Epstein, here to help you with your conjugal troubles.

Larry: But I'm not in prison--yet.

Epstein: What do you call marriage?

Larry: You're right.

Epstein: Of course I'm right.

Larry: I'm glad you're here, Jeff--or we wouldn't have a movie. There's that same Chinese temptress I wrote to you about in 2019. She's back--and I still want her.

Epstein: Well here's what I would do--if I were you (and honestly, I'd rather be dead than be Larry Sanders).

Larry: That's SUMMERS.

Epstein: I KNOWWWW, I'm kidding, you anti-chick magnet, you. All right, listen--here's my plan.

Announcer: You'll laugh, you'll eat popcorn, you'll drink coca-cola, you'll throw up--all at the new comedy hit:

Play It Again, Epstein--coming soon to a theater near you--and probably out--even faster than that. Rated R.

--GRA