63 #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally

By Nicholas Stix

95% guaranteed ripped off from the Internet!
 

http://twitchy.com/2015/01/11/couldnt-leave-joe-home-alone-here-are-the-top-10-reasonsobamamissedfrancerally/


Garth Haycock
Dear Leader on why he wasn't in Paris:

"I ran out of gas.

“I... I had a flat tire.

“I didn't have enough money for cab fare.

My tux didn't come back from the cleaners.

I couldn't find a phone.

I didn't have a dime.

An old friend came in from out of town.

Someone stole my car.

There was an earthquake.

A terrible flood.

Locusts!

IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!"
 

Humanary Stew

He went to the Netherlands after someone told him the name of the President of France. [Edited]
 

djm1992

He's on France's terrorist watch list/no-fly list.........
 

capitalistpig

He just heard about it on the news.
 

kentercat

Because they tend to decapitate kings over there.
 

jb

Reason #1a: JZ didn't want to go.

 

From Twitter:

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally he was visiting his ancestral homeland ==> pic.twitter.com/7fQJ1OzGg7

— IPayMyJizyaWith.357 (@robfit) January 11, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Had previously scheduled ANOTHER Parade appearance pic.twitter.com/5s41Nlhhdq

— CFJ ---►∅◄--- #OiP (@_CFJ_) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Working on the Presidential Library pic.twitter.com/FTHltYkh8O

— Joe I. (@2AmendDefender) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally He's posing for his monument. pic.twitter.com/rDS7drJc1C

— Joe I. (@2AmendDefender) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally he had work to do pic.twitter.com/yKmCEUjMUf

— ~~~mððnie (@mmmoonie) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally an #anagram... read the tweet pic.twitter.com/niq82bPe85

— ~~~mððnie (@mmmoonie) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally I don't know, but ... I sure miss the days when adults were in charge. pic.twitter.com/6ZIK4tobxZ

— Kris as in Kringle (@MermanKris) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Obama was mourning the victim of the NAACP bombing. pic.twitter.com/g3Z8Ap0bgb

— AdolfJoeBiden™ (@Bidenshairplugs) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Air Force One broken down from all those vacation miles. pic.twitter.com/E9FdykVvJX

— Franci (@LadySandersfarm) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally He heard from a fly on a wall that being there wld only tear down #Islam's prophets. pic.twitter.com/hJg7DUTKnb

— Shaughn (@Shaughn_A) January 12, 2015

Because the last time he went to a funeral he had to sleep on the couch for a month. #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally pic.twitter.com/Bvw7W450nU

— 2ndAmendmentStrong (@Ruach321) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally He got so excited deciding what to wear the time passed him by. pic.twitter.com/m8rgbZCQmh

— Shaughn (@Shaughn_A) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally He was too busy watching the world burn from a revenge he was long taught to seek. pic.twitter.com/vduuKsFQ6T

— Shaughn (@Shaughn_A) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Need more reasons than his OWN WORDS? Probably the first time he did not lie. pic.twitter.com/ZAaEYrUD7Y

— R J (@KataAndKumite) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Obama sent Biden who mistakenly went to the Eiffal Tower in Las Vegas. pic.twitter.com/2pt9CH4x3U

— KT (@ensignbay) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally He was afraid the Norwegians would take the Nobel prize back.

— Jesse Dalton (@ObamaBash) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally: France didn't approve Obama's Visa. #FoxNewsFacts

— OceanShoresPatriot® (@osPatriot) January 12, 2015

Because the invitation to "Leader of U.S." was returned "unknown addressee" #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally

— Martin K (@jmkg95) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally He got pissed off when he discovered that it was only a 'peace' march and not a 'religion of peace' march.

— TheO (@TheO_mpbuh) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Because he was reading his Koran.

— Proud Conservative (@TruthBToldDe) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally ? TOOK ALL DAY TO PUT MY HAIR IN A BUN ! pic.twitter.com/LxXCAqiUIg

— joseph price (@joeyyeo13) January 12, 2015

Pouting b/c Mooch told him he had to avoid Nordic female prime ministers #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally

— UF (@xfranman) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally he already defeated #terrorism pic.twitter.com/6XQ99q1c4E

— ☜☜☜ ¤ Patriot ¤ (@Merry__Can) January 12, 2015

Marty McFly went back to Kenya circa 1960 and gave Barack Sr. a box of condoms. #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally pic.twitter.com/oziE45XU5h

— AdolfJoeBiden™ (@Bidenshairplugs) January 12, 2015

He was advised he could not wear his favorite turban #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally

— UF (@xfranman) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally They haven't installed my Muslim prayer rug on Air Force one yet

— Michael✈️ (@socalmike_SD) January 12, 2015

Buying toupee's for CNN anchors who combat blaspheme against the prophet #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally pic.twitter.com/HuVHNk70zz

— Sodas (@SodasCat) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Because he was dusting off his nobel peace prize.

— Proud Conservative (@TruthBToldDe) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally 1) AL Sharpton banned from France 2) Muslim Brotherhood not welcome to attend #tcot #PJNET #tlot #orpuw

— Obama World of Oz (@Obamaisnuts) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally 1) teleprompter not allowed on podium 2) speeches limited to opposition to violent Islamic zealots #tcot

— Obama World of Oz (@Obamaisnuts) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally He could not be reached by phone to confirm attendance #benghazi #tcot #PJNET #orpuw #tlot #2a #uniteblue

— Obama World of Oz (@Obamaisnuts) January 12, 2015

Al Sharpton had the keys to Air Force One #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally

— Mrs Parker (@GH0STC00N) January 12, 2015

.@SharpsCarbine RT @Red__Rover: #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally It's for "world leaders" only.

— thecrowdview (@thecrowdview) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally He's at the IRS headquarters, shredding Sharpton's tax records.

— Spoonyluv (@Aristotleslogic) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Reggie Love doesn't have a passport

— Smogzilla (@Smogzilla) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally too busy helping Moochelle shave - all over

— Smogzilla (@Smogzilla) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Only flight he could get was AirAsia.

— Collin Lyon (@Collin_Lyon) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally @MichelleObama burka was in the dry cleaners….

— SusanC #TGDN (@susanbnj) January 12, 2015

Come on Joe let me in, this isn't funny they're expecting me in Paris. #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally pic.twitter.com/CW9ArCSOU9

— Spoonyluv (@Aristotleslogic) January 12, 2015

Couldn't get permission from his local mosque #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally

— UF (@xfranman) January 12, 2015

#ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally Michelle accidentally sat on him. pic.twitter.com/dBec57cUOV

— Jeff Rainforth (@iResistAll) January 12, 2015

He had a bad yeast infection. #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally

— Mike Jones (@BirddogJones) January 12, 2015

Because they invited Bibi Netanyahu.

Are you kidding? It’s the playoffs!

And the biggest reason Obama boycotted the Paris march (drumroll, please):

Out of solidarity with Marine LePen and the National Front!