The Birds: The Remake

By Nicholas Stix

Tonight/this morning the Mets just won a five-hour and 26-minute, 16-inning epic in San Francisco against the Giants, 4-3.

But the back stories were these: Insane Seagulls and a deranged umpire.

After three hours, the stadium was engulfed by thousands of mad seagulls. At first, like in the Hitchcock thriller, they hung around the roof at the Giants’ corporate-sponsored park. But then they took flight, and for the last two hours or so of the game, they swirled around, close to the field, constantly crossing in front of the cameras, and was as distracting to the players as to the announcers and fans, both in the stadium and at home.

If a hit ball had hit a bird, it would still be in play.

Mets announcers Gary Cohen and Keith “Mex” Hernandez quipped,

“The players get the stadium for three hours. Then the birds take over.

“They’re union seagulls.”

Umpire Adam Hamari was behind the dish, and he had an interesting strike zone. It kept getting bigger and bigger… when the Mets were at bat. Ultimately, it got so that if a ball was below a Mets hitter’s chin, or up to a foot outside, or almost, but not quite in the dirt, he was going to call it a strike. Except when he didn’t.

But when the Giants were at bat, the zone suddenly shrunk.

It was a miracle the Mets won it, in their fourth game already this season to go 15 or more innings. Josh Edgin (1-1) got the win, Bobby Parnell got the save (15S/3 BS), and George Kontos (2-2) took the loss.

The hot Mets are now flying high, at only 10 games under .500: 38-48.