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Sunday, October 26, 2008

World Series Alert: Mass Violence in Philly Tonight

By Nicholas Stix


Patti LaBelle singing "Way Up There" at the Space Shuttle Columbia memorial service at Washington National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. on February 6, 2003



In Philadelphia, former singer Patti LaBelle assaulted over 46,000 Phillies fans, when she sang the National Anthem before the beginning of tonight’s World Series Game 4. Screeching her way through the “Star-Spangled Banner,” the diva pounded the eardrums of her captive victims. It is not known at present, how many of LaBelle’s victims will suffer permanent hearing loss from their wounds.

LaBelle escaped Citizens Bank Park, is presently at large, and is considered armed and dangerous. She can be identified by her ear-splitting voice. If you encounter her, do not attempt to apprehend her. Instead, first insert heavy-duty ear plugs, don ear muffs, and then call police. Let them know that it is Patti LaBelle whom you have seen or heard. The authorities have SWAT teams on call 24/7, whose members are fitted with special protective earphones, to permit them to engage LaBelle in close quarters.

11 comments:

uptownsteve said...

Yo Stix,

A black man is about to become your President.

Just figured I'd inform you.

You pathetic racist..

ROTFLMBAO!!!!!!

Nicholas said...

And who might that be, Steve?

NS

Nicholas said...

P.S. You pathetic racist.

Hespereia said...

I am so sick of the Star Spangled Banner getting butchered and murdered and stylized. I think we should get rid of having it sung at sporting events. This would certainly cut down on the amount of times we get assaulted with bad versions.

nanc said...

uppity, you dawg!

i'll acknowledge the other half of him, you prick. especially after what one of your brah's did to the palin mannequin for halloween.

now, must turn off scratch and sniff monitor - it's starting to stink in here - funny how seteve leaves a funk in the room.

Anonymous said...

sho man, he ain't black. He's only half, but he's sure tryin hard to give Robt. Mugabe a run for his money.
Trouble is, even the blacks are leaving Zimbawe.
Where you going to go?

Quartermain said...

To pathetic racist shit town steve,

What would you do if your president don't become president?

Cry? Riot? Burn something down?

uptownsteve said...

quartarmain,

Are you projecting?

Did black folks riot when the 43 previous white guys took the Oval Office?

Seems to me it's guys like you who are having to undertake the psychological adjustment.

Don't worry you'll get used to "President Obama."

BTW, Stix under normal circumstances Obama would be just another nigger to someone of your mindset.

Just like millions of other African-Americans who have mixed race ancestry.

Remember the "one drop" rule was implemented by guys who thought like you.

Now that a black man is about to become President you want to move the goal posts and make him something else.

LOL!!!

Quartermain said...

Hey shittown, many of your friends or brothers threaten to riot or kill whites if your man Obama didn't elected.

So now, my question still stands.

Btw, your comrades run with the one drop rule as well. So who is like who...

uptownsteve said...

quartermain,

They've already caught a gang of Gomer Pyle militia types plotting to assasinate Obama and randomly kill black folks.

So you're all wet.

uptownsteve said...

Speaking of rioting........

ANOTHER white boy goes into meltdown at the prospect of a black leader!

Gunman in Army Fatigues Shuts Down Freeway

KTLA News

November 3, 2008

SANTA BARBARA -- A portion of Highway 101 is closed in both directions in downtown Santa Barbara after a masked gunman was spotted on a freeway overpass.

Witnesses say the gunman, wearing brown fatigues and a black ski mask, was spotted waving a gun around on the La Cumbre overpass around 7:10 a.m. Monday.

Sergeant Lorenzo Duarte with the Santa Barbara Police Department says the man is armed with a revolver and is also waving an American flag. Some witnesses say the man is shouting anti-Obama slogans.

Dozens of police officers, including members of the Santa Barbara SWAT team, have surrounded the area and are attempting to begin negotiations with the gunman. Police officers are using a bullhorn in an attempt to make contact with the man, but no one knows who he is or what he wants. Officials have also sent a robot into the area, hoping to get the man a cell phone so he can communicate with officers.

The freeway was shut down in both directions at La Cumbre as a precaution and traffic is being diverted through downtown Santa Barbara. The California Highway Patrol reports the freeway closure has caused a massive traffic backup throughout the area. The roadway will remain closed until further notice, according to the CHP.

A man, claiming to be a friend of the gunman, says he is an Iraqi War veteran.

No shots have been fired."