Won't you please help a poor, little, racist murderer? How about a black mri hoaxer?

By Abolish Tenure
friday, august 1, 2025 at 3:38:00 p.m. edt

Semi-unrelated-ish, an update on fundraisers as of friday, august 1, 2:10pm central time:

(1) givesendgo.com/HelpKarmelo seems stalled. $547,132 raised (goal $1,396,725). Now with the added heartbreak of a lonely life in a gated community (it's almost like, like (sniff!), PRISON) while other kids get all the fun of going to football camp to beat up a teammate of non-color for allegedly using That Forbidden Word.

Any reporters out there? Help Karmelo get back in the news cycle with a bittersweet back-to-school story. He'll enroll in online college classes because it's too dangerous to attend in person. All you need to do is to write the story, and if you could do his freshman composition assignments for him, too, that would help.

Or paging Steve Harvey, if we can get the Anthony family onto a Family Feud Million-Dollar Crime Time Special. And rig it. "Instead of 200 points in 20 seconds, there's no clock, and you need just 100 points and the audience is allowed to help."

(2) gofundme.com for "A wife in need of trying to lay her husband to rest," which would be in this corner with the 20-lb chain, Mr. McAllister vs. the winner and still champion, the mri machine. That one is not (ahem!) "attracting" cash, stuck at $14,289. Unfortunately, some donors might have confused mri Keith with a different Keith McAllister on gofundme, too, a dead white dude whose family raised over $20,000.