Movie: Martin and Lewis Go to Prison, Featuring the Hit Song, “That’s a-Story”!

[“lawyer allegedly took money from inmates, and smuggled them drugs, which gave them boo-boos!”]

By Grand Rapids Anonymous

The crooked negro’s name is Lewis, which made me think of another Lewis...Jerry Lewis.

I think Martin and Lewis Go to Prison would have been one movie for them in current times that’d be interesting to watch—they had films about everything else—the army, the circus, etc.

(Opening scene)

Warden Eddie Albert: Listen, you two, you got caught taking a hammer to a george floyd statue—which I agree with—but we have a prison full of blacks out there who know all about you...so tread lightly.

Lewis: But we’re innocent, warden, we were just minding our own business when a guy named Robert E. Lee the Twelfth began smashing that statue—tell him, Dean.

Martin: Yeahhh, we’re in town to do a little entertainment show. that’s all.

Lewis: I can’t even LIFT a hammer or my sacroiliac goes out.

Albert: I’m warning you—for your own good—stay away from the blacks. You’ve got 20 years to serve. Now get outta here.

(Scene change to the prison yard—Martin and Lewis are surrounded by prison negroes.)

Martin: Oh oh, we turned left when we shoulda turned right, Jerry.

Sammy Davis Jr.: Hey man, I hear you cats ruined a perfectly good statue of floyd.

Lewis: The barber? Floyd the Barber?

Sammy: Not funny, cracker. Listen, I’m the leader here—name is Sambo Davis. Anyone laughs at that name and you get a complete castration—from the knees up.

Lewis: HAHAHAHAHA, I can’t help it—it’s too funny.

Sammy: What’s “too funny”? And this had better be good, MAN.

Lewis: Can’t you tell from my voice? I’ve already had my manhood cut off—farm accident as a kid.

Sammy: I’m gonna be sick, man.

(As all the blacks start throwing up—Martin and Lewis escape to their prison cell.)

Martin: Farm accident? I saw you at the urinal earlier today—you lied.

Lewis: Right,when in Rome...you lie like the Romans do.

Martin: Or the jigaboos.

Albert: Hey, Martin and Lewis—you can go home—you've been pardoned by the governor—he thought you guys were black. Got you confused with some black lawyer named Lewis in Houston and a coon related to Trayvon Martin.

(Guard opens up the jail cell door)

Lewis: Let’s get outta here, Dean.

Martin: Wait, I haven’t sung a song yet.

(Sung to “That’s Amore”)

When a coon’s in a bind,
Says why he lost his mind,
That’s-a story.

When he says what he did,
Was by some other kid,
That’s-a story.

What the black on the street,
Tells the cop on the beat,
That’s-a story.

(black prisoners looking to get Whitey start moving down the cellblock.)

Dean: Let’s go!

Lewis: Where, Dean?

Martin: To New York—THAT’S a safe city.

THE END