Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Ginsburg Clerks Wheel Filing Cabinets into Capitol as Per Late Justice’s Request to Finish Some Work Before Burial

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From: The Onion Newsletter <newsletters@email.theonion.com>
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Sent: Wed, Sep 23, 2020 5:41 p.m.

Ginsburg Clerks Wheel Filing Cabinets into Capitol as Per Late Justice's Request to Finish Some Work Before Burial



The Onion September 23, 2020
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousThursday, September 24, 2020 at 10:13:00 PM EDT

    NEW STIMULUS BILL BEING DRAWN UP FOR A QUICK VOTE BY PELOSI
    GRA:Whether the GOP goes for 2.2 trillion,I doubt it,but then the Dems can hang non-passage of it on the Repubs.
    (Forbes)House Speaker Nancy Pelosi indicated on Thursday that Democrats will draft a new coronavirus relief bill and look to bring it for a vote before October 2, when the House is scheduled to recess. Pelosi has designated Richard Neal, who heads the Ways and Means Committee, to lead the new effort. Neal estimated that the new package will be in the range of $2.2 trillion, according to The Hill. "The Ways and Means Committee wrote most of it to begin with. So we're just going to revisit a lot of it," Neal said.

    The potential $2.2 trillion bill would be lower than the $3.4 trillion HEROES Act, which the House passed in May, but is roughly in line with what Pelosi had previously offered to Republicans, futilely trying to convince them to come up from the $1 trillion HEALS Act the Senate had proposed. "We are still striving for an agreement," Pelosi told her leadership team, according to Politico. “If necessary, we can formalize the request by voting on it on the House floor."
    GRA:I'll quote Nike:"Just do it."
    --GRA

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  2. AnonymousFriday, September 25, 2020 at 2:17:00 AM EDT

    FROM THE ANCHOVY(my version of "the Onion")
    BIDEN SUFFERS INJURY,TRYING TO SHAKE HANDS WITH HIMSELF IN A MIRROR
    In an embarrassing turn of events,Joe Biden,apparently not recognizing himself in a mirror,that he was passing by at a campaign stop,pushed his hand through the glass,causing some minor cuts.
    "What the hell happened?"yelled Biden,recoiling from the broken glass.
    "You tried to shake hands with yourself in a full length mirror,"his wife Jill patiently explained.
    "That wasn't me--that guy was OLD--looked like he had de,de,de..."
    "Dementia,"Mrs. Biden finished.
    "Pleased to meet you Miss Dementia,but I'm happily married--I think."

    Our next president.


    --GRA

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