Rats! Gray Humor

By Grand Rapids Anonymous
Saturday, October 26, 2019 at 9:54:00 P.M. EDT

“New York City has declared war against rats. The reason, between you and me, New York City is having so much trouble getting rid of the rats, as soon as they round up a rat, the rat will hire a really slick attorney and then, bang! He’s right back out on the street.”

“The real problem with the rats... they now are multiplying faster than Anthony Quinn.”
--David Letterman

“The rats are a little upset with the publicity that they’ve been getting in NYC and are threatening a ‘class action rat lawsuit.”

Bill di Blasio, always looking to panic and pay out big bucks ahead of time—in cases he might win—has already ordered a $20 million settlement to be paid out in CHEESE SLICES, and a promise to end “frisk and release” of rats in the future.
--GRA

Johnny Carson told a story about how one time, someone asked him where Don Rickles was—since Rickles was supposed to be on the Tonight Show set: Carson replied, “I think he’s out walking his rat.”

Letterman again: “The rats are so big in New York that today, I saw one rat catch a frisbee in its mouth.”
--GRA