The Worries of the World

By Nicholas Stix

I’m distraught, and it’s for the same reason you guys are. Yesterday, the Mets gave up a lead of 2 or more runs for the fourth straight day. We have a human cancer at second base, who seems to have infected the shortstop. We have a closer who can’t do anything right, a struggling set-up man, a manager so desperate he’s trying to be his players’ friend, and a (longtime, former agent) GM who brought the plague to town, and thus may be the first and last such figure to be hired as a big league GM. And there’s 80 games to go!