The Merchants of Death Must be Stopped! Stop the Straws!

By Nicholas Stix

By Charles Hurt - The Washington Times - Sunday, July 29, 2018

Let the pogrom begin!

There is a town in California that has finally taken action on this vitally important issue of humans sucking liquid from cups through plastic straws.

Given the clear and present existential threat these plastic straws pose to all of humankind, it was only prudent that the City Council of Santa Barbara pass a law
threatening jail time for bloodthirsty straw merchants who insist upon peddling these vile weapons against humanity….


Waiting4Godot
When straws are outlawed, only outlaws will have straws. Personally, I'm stocking up on fully automatic straws while they're still legal.

Johne37179
Are Democrats setting this up as a straw man argument?

Purple Sword
What would we do without the Democrats........ everyday I woke up and prayed someone would ban straws....... What on earth could be more important than banning straws! Who could rest comfortable without a ban on straws.

Uxcented
What a weak argument. There is no need to drink milkshakes. They' will be much easier to outlaw because we already know where all the machines that make them are located. So they get scooped up and destroyed! There, another argument against banning straws done away with. NEXT .....

Waiting4Godot
I can see straw buy-back programs in California cities, along with serial numbers printed on each straw and registration requirements. That bureaucracy alone will employ a million or so illegal aliens.

Waiting4Godot
When I was young, we had to eat our milkshakes with spoons. And we LIKED it!!!

At The Washington Times.