The Religion of Dinduism

By Anonymous

Behold, the holy communion of Dinduism.

What are the tenets of Dinduism?

Who are the enlightened ones? And what is the path to be lit up, er, enlightened?

The rites of the Order of the Sacred Section Eight. In that case, the correction would be, “What Who are the tenants...”

1. The Dindu is infallible in all interactions with unbelievers. At all times, the Dindu dindu nuffin.

2. The Dindu is always a saint, gentle giant, pillar of the community, sweet boy whom everyone loved. Saint Swisher, Saint Skittles, and Saint Sammich.

3. The Dindu is a martyr, persecuted unjustly by society, the police, and the white Hispanic.

4. Life is suffering. White man and the wealthy are the cause of all suffering. There is a path to end suffering. The path is violence and looting.

5. If someone has material wealth that you desire, they automatically must have acquired it via evil and oppression. When you perpetrate violence to steal their wealth, it is an act of liberation and the casting off of an oppressor.

6. Yo’ Momma will always save you.

7. Is Fergadishu the new Mecca for Dinduism?

8. “They all Trayvon.” “No justis, no peas.”

9. “That's real retarted, sir” - the prophet Rachel Jeantel.

10. In Dinduism, you must always strive to turn your life around. But you may not do so until you reach the afterlife.

Dinduist Philosopher ... droppin' syince, yo.

Facts have no place in Dinduism.

You best check yo privilege.