The Six Rules of Ebonics

Re-posted by Nicholas Stix

Ebonics
By Johnny Chingas
May 9, 2004
The Urban Dictionary

Ebonics is the study of the rules applied to turn English into some uneducated sounding pseudo-language, whose purpose is for the most part to insult and denigrate "Whitey." Here is what I learned in Ebonics 1:

i) In any English word with a contraction, eliminate the apostrophe and any letters after it.
1) Is it alright if I rollerskate through the campus ?
(English) Yes, it's alright
(Ebonics) It OK

ii) In a word ending in "d," substitute "dt" or "oodt."
English) That's all very fine...
Ebonics) That all reeeal gooudt....

iii) In a word ending in "ore," eliminate everything after the first "o" and add an apostrophe.
English) I won't tell you again, please shut the door.
Ebonics) I ain tellin you no mo', shet de do' !!

iv) For suffixes with 2 identical consonants followed by "er," eliminate the "er."
English) That Negro was larger and was holding a pistol.
Ebonics) Mah nigga was bigga had his fingah on yo' trigga.

v) In general, most "er"s are dropped and replaced by "ah."
English) Tower of Power
Ebonics) Towah of Powah

vi) However, in the case of a plural, "ers" is replaced by "az."
English) Negroes
Ebonics) niggaz
Now, a brief poem :
They go my niggaz all up in da hooudt,
Niggaz be pimpin' just like dey shooudt,
Leroy drive his Caddy right into a dee-itch
'Cause his punk-ass homey is too much of a bee-itch
Sistah on the pipe she hit on da stem
Homeboy got his ass in jail ageein'
Got me a supakool layin' in da free-idge
Niggaz be flyin' high off'n da bree-idge
Sambo fucked up, he high on dat sherm
Bustin up a cap hey cuz got de germ

So you get the general idea...


 
Previously, at WEJB/NSU, on this topic:

“Ebonics and the Betrayal of Black Children”;

“Ebonics: The Language of Hate”;

“Q: Would ebonics programs in public schools be a good idea? Opposing views.”; and

“Ebonics: Bridge to Illiteracy” (the “most thorough” exposé of ebonics ever written, according to my Liberty editor).