The New York Mets (10-13) Have Only Seven Problems; Otherwise, They’re Worldbeaters

By Nicholas Stix

1. They have only two reliable starters, Matt Harvey and Jon Niese. It takes five to tango;

2. They have the second-worst bullpen in baseball;

3. Their leadoff hitters don’t get on base. As Gary Cohen reported during Sunday’s regularly scheduled loss to the Phillies, teams that get their leadoff hitter on score 51% of the time; teams that fail to get their leadoff hitter on score only 16% of the time. Thus, while the Mets have so far displayed tremendous power, that has resulted in a great many solo shots;

4. A lack of timely hitting;

5. No speed on the basepaths. Remember “Reyes runs”? The Mets used to tear up the basepaths. We had Jose Reyes, Angel Pagan, and David Wright. Even players who weren’t known for base-stealing, like Jason Bay, used to swipe 10 or 11 per season. Now, we only have Wright, and he’s not exactly a kid anymore, if you get my drift. And not even Ruben Tejada, who was flying down the first-base line two years ago, as a rookie, looks very fast anymore;

6. No everyday center fielder for the second straight season; and (drum roll)

7. Ike Davis.